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March 19, 2007

How To Create A Realistic Plan For Success

Every one of us wants to be successful, but we often rely on luck and chance to achieve our goals. The best example in this case is someone who wants to get rich but only has one alternative: playing the Lotto. Of course, there are chances of becoming rich over night, but how likely is it that this will actually happen? Creating a realistic plan in order to achieve the desired results is vital in any case, no matter how high or low your hopes are.

Your first step should be to take strides to boost self esteem. It can be truly challenging to boost self esteem, and sometimes you’ll fall behind before you truly boost self esteem enough to proceed towards reaching your goal. There are various ways to boost self esteem, some things work better to boost self esteem for one person than they’d work for another. But know that you can boost self esteem, and that your success can be made even greater when you boost self esteem – because you have faith in yourself and your goal!

The safest way to do this is by taking successive steps and gradually increasing your chances of reaching your ideal. Try to think of a metaphor and compare your desires with a professional swimming competition. The first thing you need to do, in order to have chances of winning the race, is to make sure you are not afraid of the water. Before you even consider entering the race you have to eliminate your fears. They are the ones holding you back, but be careful, some of your fears might save you from getting hurt or failing.

Once you are convinced that your goal is worth fighting for, you have to start the hardest stage in you plan: preparation. You cannot expect to win a professional swimming race when you don’t even know how to swim. Start with the basics and never skip any steps out of desire of reaching your goal faster. The experience and knowledge you are skipping will probably come back and hurt you later on. Prepare by taking gradually increasing steps. Swim half a lap first, and then move on to a full lap. Your skills will progress each time and you will soon beat your own lap records every time you enter the swimming pool. It might take days, weeks or years to prepare for the “race”, depending on what your goals are. The main thing is to enter the race feeling confident in your own success and having all the skills that would allow you to win.

Taking steps one at a time and keeping your plan realistic gives you two important benefits. The order and precision of a plan brings confidence. You don’t feel like you are reengaging each new issue on a day-to-day basis. Organizing your strategy reduces the chances of making wrong moves or taking less efficient decisions. Secondly, having a sound plan has many psychological benefits and your subconscious mind worries less, giving you more energy to concentrate on what’s important. You are creating a pattern in your awareness that accepts success and integrates it in your plan. When both you conscious and your subconscious mind believe in your chances of reaching a goal you benefit from a power of concentration and focus that eliminate outside interference and let you follow the shortest path to success.

Even though chance may still play an important role in your quest to reach your ideal, having a realistic plan let’s you change the “unlikely” into “possible”.

March 5, 2007

Explore Your Past – To Shape Your Future

Who you are today, your personality and your values, depends on the past events that shaped you. You can always find connections between a present thought or feeling and a past event, no matter how far away it might seem. Explanations for present events can be found by going through some memories, and this practice shows you how to do that. By trying this you will be able to reinterpret yourself, by learning not to judge your actions but to accept and understand them.

What this really incorporates is developing a positive mental attitude through your actions in the past. You will probably be able to bring up at least several instances where you didn’t behave how you wished you had. Re-evaluating your behavior will also create a positive mental attitude because we can all learn a positive mental attitude from our mistakes. It’s not difficult to enforce a positive mental attitude as you examine your memories. Once you begin, you’ll find it easier and easier to see things with a positive mental attitude!

Begin by finding a comfortable position, in a chair or armchair. Have a piece of paper or notebook and a pen ready and put them besides you. Try to relax your body and your mind and breath rhythmically through your nose. When you have achieved a state of increased self-awareness go back in time and think of an unpleasant memory that has marked your entire life. You don’t have to find something dramatic – in childhood, for example, even the most insignificant looking remark may have a huge impact on your personality. Let’s say that, as a child, you broke a crystal vase that your mother held dear. She might have said: “You can’t do anything right!”. Of course, that was just an anger driven reaction on her part that disappeared after a short while but you, as a child, were deeply affected by it.

When you have selected your past event try to briefly write it down and finish with a phrase that summarizes your experience (e.g. “You can’t do anything right!”). Make sure your breathing is still rhythmical and relaxed and then think about a minimum of three things that you can learn from that past experience. Do not get stuck on the final phrase, but try to analyze your action in a non-judgmental manner. The main idea is to identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved. Don’t quickly dismiss your past problem by saying “it was a child’s mistake”. The goal here is to find out how any mistake can teach you to become better, instead of lowering your self-esteem and confidence.

When you have found a few positive remarks about the past experience try to write them down. Don’t force your mind to come up with the ideas; instead, try to let everything flow naturally. After you’re done writing make sure to read the statements a couple of times and remember their essence. Put the paper aside and get back to connecting with your breathing. Take a minute or two to focus solely on your breathing and then recall the positive ideas you jotted down on the piece of paper. As an example, in the case of the broken vase, you could write: “I have to concentrate more on my actions”. Repeat that thought in your mind and make sure it represents you completely. Do the same with all the other positive ideas you cam up with. Believing in them and repeating their essence enables you to make them part of who you are.

This exercise is especially useful when you are aware that you are about to go through a similar experience. You may not be in danger of breaking another vase, but you might be in the situation where something a friend holds dear will be in your hands, in your responsibility. If you feel stressed and fearful about that situation make sure you recall the positive aspects from your exercise. Repeat them in your mind before the event and your self-confidence will receive a well-deserved boost, allowing you to do your job free from any negative roots to the past.

March 2, 2007

How To Cure Your Fear Of Change

Usually people are afraid of bad changes, things that affect their existence in a negative way. The question arising is how to cure our fears of change? The most important thing is to understand that life is always made from ups and downs and nobody can be in a permanent ascending trend, simply because that is impossible. Even the most envied stars experience the downs life has to offer, so nobody can avoid them.

However, the most important thing is not how to avoid changes, fears and bad experiences, but how to learn from them. It is crucial not to let problems overwhelm you, but to know how to use them in your favor.

There are many theories of motivation as to why change so scares humans. Some theories of motivation suggest that an event in our childhood can trigger our fears, while other theories of motivation aren’t as defined. Whatever the theories of motivation, our fears can be very real. Theories of motivation can point to our problems, but what are the theories of motivation to resolve our fears of change?

There is no doubt that problems affect us, which is actually normal, due to the fact that we have feelings, but, nevertheless, every single hard moment of our lives should make us even stronger. That is why specialists suggest that you should always analyze and meditate on the worse situation you had to deal with, in the course of your life. Try to learn from your mistakes, because they will help you be prepared for the changes or less pleasant situations to come.

There are many ancient beliefs that consider that every single episode of our lives happens with a pre-determined reason. They also think that life, somehow prepares us for certain events to come, so if we focus enough attention on our previous experiences, we will understand many things from the present.

With all that, it is also true that the unexpected can happen anytime. However, you should keep in mind that a change in not always for the worse and consequently, you must never let go of a chance, because you are afraid to take the risk. Remember that, from time to time, something has to happen in order to free you from monotony, so you shouldn’t be surprised if, at a certain moment in time, instead of being afraid of change, you desire it with all your heart.

If you just don’t feel capable of realizing what a certain change in your life, actually means, here’s a list of tips that might help you get mobilized:

· Try to think only of the positive impacts that will result after the change. See how important they are and meditate upon how to multiply them, by adding some other good aspects, which need certain assistance.

· It is always good to picture somebody else in your situation, as picturing ourselves in a less desirable position, always looks more dramatic than it really is. If you realize that the other person can handle the change, you can be sure you’ll be able to handle it as well.

· Imagine the worse situation that can result after the change. Now try to find various solutions to it. Meditate on how much you can loose, if the worst happened, and how important those things are to you. If you find more than one reasonable solution, you are safe – the change can’t be stronger than you are!

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